TLMB: What does it mean? A contest. Home of Epic Fantasy Author Brian Staveley

EDIT: CONTEST CLOSED. COVER REVEAL COMING SOON. But you should still scroll down and see some the hysterical entries…

After much consideration, I’ve finally settled on a title to the third book in the Chronicle of the Unhewn Throne. And it is… drumroll… drumroll…


Ok, that’s not it, exactly. That’s the acronym. We’re not revealing the title until we can reveal the cover, which is probably a couple of weeks out. In the meantime, this strikes me as a great chance to run a contest. Below, in the comments, put in your guesses for the title of this third book. There will be three different divisions, each with a different prize:

Division 1: My wife’s favorite title. Prize: KETTRAL ATHLETIC DEPT. T-shirt

Division 2: My poker buddies’ favorite title. Prize: KETTRAL ATHLETIC DEPT. T-shirt

Division 3: The title that’s closest to the real title: Prize: An ARC of TLMB (although they probably won’t be printed until late summer).

Rules: Only three entries per person. Contest closes whenever we do the cover reveal. And no, I’m not exactly sure when that is, so get on it!

99 thoughts on “TLMB: What does it mean? A contest.”

  1. Kameron Hurley says:


  2. Tim says:

    The Luckiest Monarch Boasts

  3. alexvdl says:

    Tasty Marjoram Lamb Biscuits

    The Murderous Lady Beneath

    Today, Mothers Lose Babies

    1. shllybkwrm says:

      I think you’ve got your acronym mixed up…

  4. psiamiam says:

    The Lies Men Believe

    1. Charlie says:

      Good title regardless

  5. Tim says:

    The Loser Must Buy

  6. James McStravick says:

    TLMB – The Lightning Mirrors Breaks

  7. Tim says:

    This Little Monkey Bites

  8. justinchasteen says:

    Tan Likes Massive Boobs

  9. Civilian Reader says:

    Not taking this seriously at all, for some reason, but I’ve come up with a few:
    Given that I live in Canada, I’d like it to be something along the lines of “The Lucious, Majestic Beaver”…
    “There Live Monsters, Bro”
    “To Long, Maybe Brunch”

  10. Josh Garten (@fuzzbinn) says:

    In no specific order
    The Laziest Malkeenian Brother (Not sure which one that would be, but figure one of them, right?)
    The Large Man-eating Bird
    The Light Mourn Black

  11. Jon says:

    My guesses:
    1) Til Light My Brother
    2) The Leach Mariachi Band
    3) The Long Mind Blazes

    1. shllybkwrm says:

      I cracked up at #2

      1. Jon says:


    2. bstaveley says:

      Jon — you were the runner-up for my wife’s favorite. Doesn’t come with a prize, unfortunately, but thought you might like to know!

  12. bluewhite1245 says:

    The Last Malkeenian Bride
    The Legions Make Bacon
    To Leach Mortal Bone

  13. bluewhite1245 says:

    I quit because psiamiam’s is awesome.

  14. Kameron Hurley says:

    Yes, if it isn’t THE LIES MEN BELIEVE you should re-title it now.


  15. Michael says:

    The Lies Must Burn
    The Lord’s Misty Blade
    Three Little Moody Bunnies

  16. Laura Gonsalves says:

    Too late my beloved

  17. Michael Gunter says:

    The Lore Master’s Box
    Trust Leaves Men Broken

    Wow…. Psiamiam’s entry is awesome!

  18. jamercer says:

    Thieves, Liars, Monks, and Babies

    1. bstaveley says:

      You win! My wife, Jo, chose your title as her favorite. Shoot me an email at brian (dot) staveley (at) gmail (dot) com and I’ll get your info. Congrats!

  19. Keith W Willis says:

    The Lost Malkenian Bastard
    The Long Black Millennium
    The Legendary Motherf*king Birds

  20. Glenn Curry says:

    The light made bright
    the limits made bear.
    the lives marred bloody

  21. Kameron Johnson says:

    The Last Man Boob
    The Last Monarch Born

  22. Zaz says:

    The Last Magical Battle
    The Legendary Malkeenian Blood
    The Lunchtime Magical Box

  23. Lindsay Sakatch says:

    The Land Must Bleed
    The Last Man Betrayed
    The Light Must Burn

  24. Kristi Lorenzini says:

    1) The Last Malkeenian Brother
    2) The Lost Malkeenian Bond
    3) The Lost Mother’s Bond

  25. camather559 says:

    Their Love Makes Bodies
    The Last Monarch Buried
    The Light Made Broken

  26. Bob Milne says:

    The Last Monarch Betrayed
    The Longest March Bekons
    The Legend Must Burn

  27. Eric F says:

    The Lost Minds Bleed
    The Long Meshkent Battle
    The Light Mends Bone

  28. Kennon Lightbender says:

    “The Leech Monarch Born”
    “The Light Most Bright”
    Annnnd one for fun…”Tanis Looses Much Blood”

  29. Scaper4 (@Scaper4) says:

    The Last Man Broken

    Still thinking about 2 & 3

  30. Mark L. says:

    As always, I’ve had a process for this. I started with and its linked spreadsheet, pulling out words that matched, then started thinking. Authors and publishers like continuity in a book series, and continuity in the cadence/feel of titles helps to keep them together. Both books so far start with “The”, and so I leaned all of my choices toward The in this case, since I couldn’t really find any other good first words. The Providence of Fire and The Emperor’s Blades both follow the structure of The Possessive’s Noun. TEB has 5 syllables, TPoF has 6, including the “of”, so I tried to stick close to this number. TEB features all 3 siblings, but Kaden is prominent on the cover, the story travels to his location mostly, and he’s on the spine, and TPoF quite obviously features Adare, leading me to suspect that, in some ways, even if the entire book is not his, the cover/title of #3 may be Valyn’s book–and the ending of TPoF did nothing to disabuse me of this notion. Thus, I thought of the words Birds or Blacks for the B, though Blacks seemed a bit far-fetched and I couldn’t fit it in with anything else. Since book titles are often kept as different as possible within a series, I avoided words like Bright or Light which might evoke fire, and stayed completely away from Blades. I almost avoided Last because of Last Abbot, but it was too good not to use, especially on a last book, and Last Abbot was only a short story, after all, not something a large number of readers may have seen. Given that Brian’s short story included Ashk’lan, an in-world word, which even includes the notorious fantasy apostrophe, I think it entirely possible that the title has Malkeenian in it, though other words such as Meshkent seemed a bit far-fetched. I also had to throw in a reference to a certain character who appears in TPoF and whom I fell in love with immediately, so that’s #3. So… With all that rambling (which may or may not help anyone else. If it does, and you win the ARC, you at least owe it to me to send it on when you’ve finished, right?) here are my guesses:

    1) The Last Malkeenian Blood

    2) The Lord’s Majestic Bird

    3) The Leach Mistress’s Binding

    (Also, free joke titles someone is welcome to use: The Last Motherf***king Book, The Ludicrously Massive Book.)

    1. shllybkwrm says:

      Wow, that’s a nice analysis.

    2. kvothe1984 says:

      The lightning made below

  31. Harry Connolly says:

    The Last Male Boner.

    Thank you, thank you. No applause necessary.

  32. Michael F. says:

    The Latest Massive Blockbuster?
    Ten Latent Mother Broods?
    Tsk, Lame Males Bond

  33. Charlie says:

    The Little Mouse’s Backside
    The Lovely Maiden Bounces
    The Lazy Man Burns

  34. Douglas says:

    The Last Mohican’s Back
    Time Lord vs Men in Black
    Tools, Like My Brother

  35. Sher says:

    The Last Mortal Battle
    The Loss of Mortal Bonds
    Those Lousy Malkeenian Brats?

    1. psiamiam says:

      *snerk* “Those Lousy Malkeenian Brats”

    2. bstaveley says:

      You win by a HAIR! Congratulations! Shoot me an email: brian (dot) staveley (at) gmail (dot) com.

  36. Nathan G says:

    Time Lingers, Men Break
    Toys Left Maliciously Broken
    The Line Must Bend

    Those are my guesses. “The Lies Men Believe” was there until I saw it earlier in the comments

  37. Bethany K. Warner says:

    The Lost Man’s Blades

  38. shllybkwrm says:

    psiamiam probably got the best answer, but I guess I’ll give it a try…

    The Last Morning’s Betrayal
    The Light of the Merciful Brothers
    The Lord’s Mortal Bonds

  39. Sue Armitage says:

    Throne Lost, Murderous Brother

    The Last Mountain Breached

    Throughly Lovely Marvelous Book

  40. April Cour says:

    The Last Malkeenian Bastard
    The Loins of Murder and Blood
    Triste’s Lovely Massive Bosom

  41. spugnardi88 says:

    Talal-Mega Leaching Bastard
    The Last Malkeenian Brother…. Which is probably closer to the truth lol

  42. John Blake says:

    The Last Mary Bonnet

  43. kvothe1984 says:

    The lightning made below
    The land must bleed

  44. Ed says:

    The Last Man Believing
    The Lands Most Barren
    The Lazy*ss Motherf***ing B*****d

  45. Marcus Norcott says:

    The Light Must Burn
    The Light Most Burnt
    The Light Made Born

  46. Anmiryam says:

    Truth Leaves Men Blind
    The Lost Mirror Beckons
    The Last Midnight Begins

    No hope of winning, but would love a Kettral Athletic Department t-shirt. Any for sale?

  47. Eric says:

    the last Malkenian blade
    The little magic boy

  48. Link says:

    The Lord’s Mortal Blood
    The Light Made Blood
    and for some fun,
    To Love Malkeenian Boobies (because apparently I’m 12 and still giggle at that word).

  49. Dylan says:

    The Liar’s Mortal Bond.

  50. Kat Laurange says:

    Tricksy Loki Makes Brownies
    True Love Most Bloody

  51. Simon Ellberger says:

    To Leap Mountains Below
    The Lying Monk’s Bow
    The Late Mourning Before

  52. Eärdil says:

    Thanks for making us readers part of your process once again. And is great to read all this awesome entries.

    The Longest Months of Brian
    The Lovely Monk’s Brothel
    Then Laith Murdered Balendin

    1. bstaveley says:

      I’m having a blast over here reading these entries. Can not stop laughing…

      1. Eric F says:

        Has anyone come close so far? Hard to believe how many unique entries we’re coming up with!

        1. bstaveley says:

          I don’t want to give anything away, but I’m reading these with great interest. And laughing my ass off…

          1. Mark L. says:

            How do we know you didn’t just suggest a random acronym and are waiting for the perfect suggestion to take as the title of your book? 😛

          2. bstaveley says:

            That’s definitely what I’m going to do next time.

  53. Travis says:

    This Land Must Burn
    Til Last Mortal Breath
    Two Lesbians Make Bread

  54. Dugtrio says:

    The Last Mortal’s Blood
    The Lingering Mortal’s Blade
    The Last Blood Song

  55. Thomas says:

    The Lonely Mountain Brothel

  56. noctevulpi says:

    The Long Man’s Buttons.
    The Lady Meant Bacon!
    The Longest Morning Breaks.

  57. estetio says:

    The Last Man’s Betrayal.

  58. kvothe1984 says:

    Reblogged this on Fantasy Book Collecting & Reviews and commented:
    Oh my word how I would love this. It would usually be a challenge I felt I could take on , yet I really struggled to find a combination I am happy with, that fits in with the first 2 titles.

  59. iconoplast says:

    To Lure Men’s Bones
    Time’s Lonely Mourning Ballad
    The Last Mountain Burns

  60. Arzvi says:

    The large mystic butthole
    The longing man’s brothel
    The long magnificent battle

  61. Janice says:

    The Last Mortal Blade
    The Late Married Bride
    To Lose My Burger

  62. BadrQamra says:

    The last Malkeenian battle
    The lost Malkeenian brother
    The legacy of malkaenian blood

    Can’t wait for the real title 🙂

  63. psiamiam says:

    The Last Monk’s Betrayal

    You’ve got a lot of entertaining readers. 🙂

  64. erik purvis says:

    The Light Made Black

  65. efpurvis says:

    The Light Must Burn

  66. efpurvis says:

    The Last Man Burning

  67. efpurvis says:

    This Little Magical Blanket

  68. Arne Jakob Zakrajšek says:

    This Last Manuscript, Brian…
    They Lost My Bird
    The Latent Magical Blunderbuss

  69. Michael says:

    The Clarity of Shadows
    The Rebirth from Darkness
    Holy Hull Gods be Coming Back

  70. H-508 says:

    The Long March Beyond
    The Living Moan Belatedly
    Their Lives, Most Bellicose

  71. Stephanie Sasaki says:

    I gave up trying to read through all of the previous submissions so I’m just going to throw mine in the mix and hope someone else hasn’t already posted them…

    1. The Lovely Mommy Book
    2. The Last Missing Blade
    3. The Last Malkeenian Blade

  72. kvothe1984 says:

    This is killing me. The M is the key I’m sure. Have so many words for L & B. Light, Last, Link, Lost, Lake. Blood, Battle, Bullet, Beneath, Below. Longer words for M, Malice, Magic, Magical, Mythical, Malkinean, Master, Minister.
    Can I have mastermind pegs?

  73. Phil C says:

    Tits Leeches Mountains and Blood
    Tankards of Liquor Misery and Blood
    Tree Limbs Must Bough

  74. Hrishikesh Purandare says:

    The Last Mortal Bond

  75. Sumay says:

    The Lost Malkinean Brotherhood
    The Light Master Born
    The Last Mortal Bond

  76. Paul Highum says:

    I know this is too late but I felt I had too good of one not to post it: Tasty, Long Monk Boners. Can’t wait for the book.

  77. Gotssclh says:

    The Last mans Blood
    They Love murdering blades
    The lonly monks Bidding

  78. psiamiam says:

    Please make the t-shirts available for sale. Please please please.

    1. bstaveley says:

      That’s my first project to tackle as soon as this draft is finished. Hoping to get them up next week…

  79. Aaron Riccio says:

    The Last Mortal Bond
    The Living Man’s Battle
    The Leach’s Murderous Blight

Comments are closed.