EDIT: CONTEST CLOSED. COVER REVEAL COMING SOON. But you should still scroll down and see some the hysterical entries…
After much consideration, I’ve finally settled on a title to the third book in the Chronicle of the Unhewn Throne. And it is… drumroll… drumroll…
TLMB
Ok, that’s not it, exactly. That’s the acronym. We’re not revealing the title until we can reveal the cover, which is probably a couple of weeks out. In the meantime, this strikes me as a great chance to run a contest. Below, in the comments, put in your guesses for the title of this third book. There will be three different divisions, each with a different prize:
Division 1: My wife’s favorite title. Prize: KETTRAL ATHLETIC DEPT. T-shirt
Division 2: My poker buddies’ favorite title. Prize: KETTRAL ATHLETIC DEPT. T-shirt
Division 3: The title that’s closest to the real title: Prize: An ARC of TLMB (although they probably won’t be printed until late summer).
Rules: Only three entries per person. Contest closes whenever we do the cover reveal. And no, I’m not exactly sure when that is, so get on it!
Kameron Hurley says:
THE LIGHT MIST BROKEN
THE LAST MAN BORN
TERROR LAMP MOP BEAM
Tim says:
The Luckiest Monarch Boasts
alexvdl says:
Tasty Marjoram Lamb Biscuits
The Murderous Lady Beneath
Today, Mothers Lose Babies
shllybkwrm says:
I think you’ve got your acronym mixed up…
psiamiam says:
The Lies Men Believe
Charlie says:
Good title regardless
Tim says:
The Loser Must Buy
James McStravick says:
TLMB – The Lightning Mirrors Breaks
Tim says:
This Little Monkey Bites
justinchasteen says:
Tan Likes Massive Boobs
Civilian Reader says:
Not taking this seriously at all, for some reason, but I’ve come up with a few:
Given that I live in Canada, I’d like it to be something along the lines of “The Lucious, Majestic Beaver”…
Or…
“There Live Monsters, Bro”
“To Long, Maybe Brunch”
Josh Garten (@fuzzbinn) says:
Alright:
In no specific order
The Laziest Malkeenian Brother (Not sure which one that would be, but figure one of them, right?)
The Large Man-eating Bird
The Light Mourn Black
Jon says:
My guesses:
1) Til Light My Brother
2) The Leach Mariachi Band
3) The Long Mind Blazes
shllybkwrm says:
I cracked up at #2
Jon says:
Thanks!
bstaveley says:
Jon — you were the runner-up for my wife’s favorite. Doesn’t come with a prize, unfortunately, but thought you might like to know!
James McStravick says:
The Light Of Memory Break
bluewhite1245 says:
The Last Malkeenian Bride
The Legions Make Bacon
To Leach Mortal Bone
bluewhite1245 says:
I quit because psiamiam’s is awesome.
Kameron Hurley says:
Yes, if it isn’t THE LIES MEN BELIEVE you should re-title it now.
TOTES LOVES MANY BOOKS
Michael says:
The Lies Must Burn
The Lord’s Misty Blade
Three Little Moody Bunnies
Laura Gonsalves says:
Too late my beloved
Michael Gunter says:
The Lore Master’s Box
Trust Leaves Men Broken
Wow…. Psiamiam’s entry is awesome!
jamercer says:
Thieves, Liars, Monks, and Babies
bstaveley says:
You win! My wife, Jo, chose your title as her favorite. Shoot me an email at brian (dot) staveley (at) gmail (dot) com and I’ll get your info. Congrats!
Keith W Willis says:
The Lost Malkenian Bastard
The Long Black Millennium
The Legendary Motherf*king Birds
Glenn Curry says:
The light made bright
the limits made bear.
the lives marred bloody
Kameron Johnson says:
The Last Man Boob
The Last Monarch Born
Zaz says:
The Last Magical Battle
The Legendary Malkeenian Blood
The Lunchtime Magical Box
Lindsay Sakatch says:
The Land Must Bleed
The Last Man Betrayed
The Light Must Burn
Kristi Lorenzini says:
1) The Last Malkeenian Brother
2) The Lost Malkeenian Bond
3) The Lost Mother’s Bond
camather559 says:
Their Love Makes Bodies
The Last Monarch Buried
The Light Made Broken
Bob Milne says:
The Last Monarch Betrayed
The Longest March Bekons
The Legend Must Burn
Eric F says:
The Lost Minds Bleed
The Long Meshkent Battle
The Light Mends Bone
Kennon Lightbender says:
“The Leech Monarch Born”
“The Light Most Bright”
Annnnd one for fun…”Tanis Looses Much Blood”
Scaper4 (@Scaper4) says:
The Last Man Broken
Still thinking about 2 & 3
Mark L. says:
As always, I’ve had a process for this. I started with http://www.tor.com/blogs/2011/03/best-of-the-decade-data-common-words-in-titles and its linked spreadsheet, pulling out words that matched, then started thinking. Authors and publishers like continuity in a book series, and continuity in the cadence/feel of titles helps to keep them together. Both books so far start with “The”, and so I leaned all of my choices toward The in this case, since I couldn’t really find any other good first words. The Providence of Fire and The Emperor’s Blades both follow the structure of The Possessive’s Noun. TEB has 5 syllables, TPoF has 6, including the “of”, so I tried to stick close to this number. TEB features all 3 siblings, but Kaden is prominent on the cover, the story travels to his location mostly, and he’s on the spine, and TPoF quite obviously features Adare, leading me to suspect that, in some ways, even if the entire book is not his, the cover/title of #3 may be Valyn’s book–and the ending of TPoF did nothing to disabuse me of this notion. Thus, I thought of the words Birds or Blacks for the B, though Blacks seemed a bit far-fetched and I couldn’t fit it in with anything else. Since book titles are often kept as different as possible within a series, I avoided words like Bright or Light which might evoke fire, and stayed completely away from Blades. I almost avoided Last because of Last Abbot, but it was too good not to use, especially on a last book, and Last Abbot was only a short story, after all, not something a large number of readers may have seen. Given that Brian’s short story included Ashk’lan, an in-world word, which even includes the notorious fantasy apostrophe, I think it entirely possible that the title has Malkeenian in it, though other words such as Meshkent seemed a bit far-fetched. I also had to throw in a reference to a certain character who appears in TPoF and whom I fell in love with immediately, so that’s #3. So… With all that rambling (which may or may not help anyone else. If it does, and you win the ARC, you at least owe it to me to send it on when you’ve finished, right?) here are my guesses:
1) The Last Malkeenian Blood
2) The Lord’s Majestic Bird
3) The Leach Mistress’s Binding
(Also, free joke titles someone is welcome to use: The Last Motherf***king Book, The Ludicrously Massive Book.)
shllybkwrm says:
Wow, that’s a nice analysis.
kvothe1984 says:
The lightning made below
Harry Connolly says:
The Last Male Boner.
Thank you, thank you. No applause necessary.
Michael F. says:
The Latest Massive Blockbuster?
Ten Latent Mother Broods?
Tsk, Lame Males Bond
Charlie says:
The Little Mouse’s Backside
The Lovely Maiden Bounces
The Lazy Man Burns
Douglas says:
The Last Mohican’s Back
Time Lord vs Men in Black
Tools, Like My Brother
Sher says:
The Last Mortal Battle
The Loss of Mortal Bonds
Those Lousy Malkeenian Brats?
psiamiam says:
*snerk* “Those Lousy Malkeenian Brats”
bstaveley says:
You win by a HAIR! Congratulations! Shoot me an email: brian (dot) staveley (at) gmail (dot) com.
Nathan G says:
Time Lingers, Men Break
Toys Left Maliciously Broken
The Line Must Bend
Those are my guesses. “The Lies Men Believe” was there until I saw it earlier in the comments
Bethany K. Warner says:
The Lost Man’s Blades
shllybkwrm says:
psiamiam probably got the best answer, but I guess I’ll give it a try…
The Last Morning’s Betrayal
The Light of the Merciful Brothers
The Lord’s Mortal Bonds
Sue Armitage says:
Throne Lost, Murderous Brother
The Last Mountain Breached
Throughly Lovely Marvelous Book
April Cour says:
The Last Malkeenian Bastard
The Loins of Murder and Blood
Triste’s Lovely Massive Bosom
spugnardi88 says:
Talal-Mega Leaching Bastard
Or
The Last Malkeenian Brother…. Which is probably closer to the truth lol
John Blake says:
The Last Mary Bonnet
kvothe1984 says:
The lightning made below
The land must bleed
Ed says:
The Last Man Believing
The Lands Most Barren
The Lazy*ss Motherf***ing B*****d
Marcus Norcott says:
The Light Must Burn
The Light Most Burnt
The Light Made Born
Anmiryam says:
Truth Leaves Men Blind
The Lost Mirror Beckons
The Last Midnight Begins
No hope of winning, but would love a Kettral Athletic Department t-shirt. Any for sale?
Eric says:
the last Malkenian blade
The little magic boy
Link says:
The Lord’s Mortal Blood
The Light Made Blood
and for some fun,
To Love Malkeenian Boobies (because apparently I’m 12 and still giggle at that word).
luckystrikes23 says:
The Light Made Black
Dylan says:
The Liar’s Mortal Bond.
Kat Laurange says:
Tricksy Loki Makes Brownies
True Love Most Bloody
Simon Ellberger says:
To Leap Mountains Below
The Lying Monk’s Bow
The Late Mourning Before
Eärdil says:
Thanks for making us readers part of your process once again. And is great to read all this awesome entries.
The Longest Months of Brian
The Lovely Monk’s Brothel
Then Laith Murdered Balendin
bstaveley says:
I’m having a blast over here reading these entries. Can not stop laughing…
Eric F says:
Has anyone come close so far? Hard to believe how many unique entries we’re coming up with!
bstaveley says:
I don’t want to give anything away, but I’m reading these with great interest. And laughing my ass off…
Mark L. says:
How do we know you didn’t just suggest a random acronym and are waiting for the perfect suggestion to take as the title of your book? 😛
bstaveley says:
That’s definitely what I’m going to do next time.
Travis says:
This Land Must Burn
Til Last Mortal Breath
Two Lesbians Make Bread
Dennis e anderson says:
The Lynch Mob’s Betrayl
Dugtrio says:
The Last Mortal’s Blood
The Lingering Mortal’s Blade
The Last Blood Song
Thomas says:
The Lonely Mountain Brothel
noctevulpi says:
The Long Man’s Buttons.
The Lady Meant Bacon!
The Longest Morning Breaks.
estetio says:
The Last Man’s Betrayal.
kvothe1984 says:
Reblogged this on Fantasy Book Collecting & Reviews and commented:
Oh my word how I would love this. It would usually be a challenge I felt I could take on , yet I really struggled to find a combination I am happy with, that fits in with the first 2 titles.
iconoplast says:
To Lure Men’s Bones
Time’s Lonely Mourning Ballad
The Last Mountain Burns
Arzvi says:
The large mystic butthole
The longing man’s brothel
The long magnificent battle
Janice says:
The Last Mortal Blade
The Late Married Bride
To Lose My Burger
BadrQamra says:
The last Malkeenian battle
The lost Malkeenian brother
The legacy of malkaenian blood
Can’t wait for the real title 🙂
psiamiam says:
The Last Monk’s Betrayal
You’ve got a lot of entertaining readers. 🙂
erik purvis says:
The Light Made Black
efpurvis says:
The Light Must Burn
efpurvis says:
The Last Man Burning
efpurvis says:
This Little Magical Blanket
Arne Jakob Zakrajšek says:
This Last Manuscript, Brian…
They Lost My Bird
The Latent Magical Blunderbuss
Michael says:
The Clarity of Shadows
The Rebirth from Darkness
Holy Hull Gods be Coming Back
H-508 says:
The Long March Beyond
The Living Moan Belatedly
Their Lives, Most Bellicose
Stephanie Sasaki says:
I gave up trying to read through all of the previous submissions so I’m just going to throw mine in the mix and hope someone else hasn’t already posted them…
1. The Lovely Mommy Book
2. The Last Missing Blade
3. The Last Malkeenian Blade
kvothe1984 says:
This is killing me. The M is the key I’m sure. Have so many words for L & B. Light, Last, Link, Lost, Lake. Blood, Battle, Bullet, Beneath, Below. Longer words for M, Malice, Magic, Magical, Mythical, Malkinean, Master, Minister.
Can I have mastermind pegs?
Phil C says:
Tits Leeches Mountains and Blood
Tankards of Liquor Misery and Blood
Tree Limbs Must Bough
Hrishikesh Purandare says:
The Last Mortal Bond
Sumay says:
The Lost Malkinean Brotherhood
The Light Master Born
The Last Mortal Bond
Paul Highum says:
I know this is too late but I felt I had too good of one not to post it: Tasty, Long Monk Boners. Can’t wait for the book.
Gotssclh says:
The Last mans Blood
They Love murdering blades
The lonly monks Bidding
psiamiam says:
Please make the t-shirts available for sale. Please please please.
bstaveley says:
That’s my first project to tackle as soon as this draft is finished. Hoping to get them up next week…
Aaron Riccio says:
The Last Mortal Bond
The Living Man’s Battle
The Leach’s Murderous Blight